the belligerent claimant in person
Allen Hacker
animated in the cause of freedom

Friday, December 05, 2003

           

A Business Plan for Doug

My good buddy Doug Kenline asks for a business plan:

Business Plan

I need help building a business. Step one is I need a plan. Step two is there can't be any work involved. Let me know if you have any suggestions.


I have great news...

That plan already exists, and is used by about 80%* of all new businesses every year!

The plan is deceptively simple.

You won't believe how easy it is. Absolutely no work at all.

And the results are 100% predictable!

No uncertainty, no surprises.

The Plan:

1. Declare yourself to be in business. Tell all your friends. Spend a ton of money (or however little you wish) on PR, an office, a leased mercedes or BMW, buy a couple of really nice suits for those power luncheons....

2. That's it. Just keep doing #1. That's the fun part. Don't bother with inventing something, or locating a valid product, or creating or franchising a desirable service, or marketing or sales. Those things are no fun. Besides, they violate requirement number two: they are work.

This plan will work, predictably, with a scientifically sound result.

I guarantee it.

Note:

* 80% of all new businesses fail in the first year.

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the belligerent claimant in person
Allen Hacker
animated in the cause of freedom